Who’d be nuts enough to be out shopping today? The unwashed masses have flooded the stores today, many waiting in line since yesterday to be The First in the door for sales. That is some crazy-stupid shit right there, I tell ya. You could not pay me money to shop today. I hate shopping anyway, but today - never in a million years. Never.

Shoppers Storm Stores; Officers Stop Fights

Orlando police officers were called to break up some fights between shoppers early Friday as Central Floridians flocked to stores for one of the busiest shopping days of the year, according to Local 6 News.

Line jumpers at a Best Buy at the Fashion Square Mall apparently started a fight at around 11:30 p.m. Officers responded and there were no arrests.

However, one person may be arrested for starting a fight at a Wal-Mart in east Orange County early Friday.

Some shoppers waited for as long as seven hours to be the first in the doors for bargains.

This sounds like third world hell.

Americans Hit Stores on Black Friday

Thousands of bargain shoppers, facing frigid temperatures, woke up before dawn and headed to the nation’s malls and stores Friday, the official start of the holiday shopping season.

Things got out of hand at a Wal-Mart store in Orlando, Fla., where a man who allegedly cut in line to get a discounted laptop computer was wrestled to the ground…

This is Wal-Mart people…Wal. Frickin’. Mart.

The day you catch me running like a crazy person into a Wal-Mart, you can be absolutely certain that aliens have landed and taken over my body - and that what you’re actually seeing is a real, live Pod Person. I can guarantee that.

UPDATE: And there’s more…

Christmas Rage

The crowd of shoppers outside BrandsMart USA in Sawgrass Mills, angry at being forced to wait by security personnel, pushed their way under the security gate and down a hallway into the store, forcing dozens of people against the walls and trampling the woman.

“I was trying to get out of the way, but they knocked me down,” said Josephine Hoffman of Coconut Creek, who was standing immediately outside the gate as a human wave rushed inside, carrying her along.

“I hit my head on the floor, and people stepped on me,” said the woman, who was resting on a box of merchandise inside the store following the 7:30 a.m. incident. “I don’t understand why people do these things.”

Trampled shoppers released from the hospital

It was a dangerous morning on Black Friday at a West Michigan Wal-Mart. Now, corporate representatives are responding to what happened.

An impatient crowd stormed the doors in the mad rush to get to those door-buster deals inside.

It was an ugly scene when the doors opened at the Cascade Township Wal-Mart. Hundreds of shoppers pushed and shoved their way into the store, trampling a number of customers, sending two to the hospital.
[...]
Youngblood believes Wal-Mart should hire trained uniformed security guards to help bring order to the early-morning holiday crowd and not leave those duties to Wal-Mart associates.

“They didn’t have no security at all,” said McHerron’s sister, Sierra.

“Wal-Mart did not do enough to protect us,” Dietstra said.

Ohhh, yeah. Cha-ching!

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